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1. Being dominated
Contents:
  1. Our survey shows you still fantasize about sex.
  2. So You Want to Know What Women Fantasize About?
  3. Study: Why Older Women Have Higher Sex Drive - TIME
  4. 10 Women on Their Hottest Sexual Fantasy

That's why we call them "fantasies"! But sometimes, it's delicious to have an adventure without risk, to be a different person from who we really are, to have a person taking sexual care of us in a way that's unlikely to happen, or to explore a sexual world that we probably wouldn't enjoy in real life but can enter for a while—even if it's only in our head.

There are many pleasures, and often peak arousal, in having a fantasy—all without actualization nor consequences. Something like imagining what it would be like having sex in public is harmless and erotic to think about. You might not want to try this and risk getting a police citation for public indecency, but there's no doubt it could carry an erotic charge—in fact, it was the next highest fantasy, with 9 percent of our sample.

Interestingly, most people don't keep these thoughts private, as we might have thought. Nearly one in three of those who say they have sexual thoughts and fantasies had discussed them with someone, the most common confidant being their spouse or partner, followed by a friend. Women are a little less likely than men to discuss their fantasies with anyone. Only 1 percent of females say they had discussed their fantasies with a stranger. It's curious and a little disappointing that 60 percent of men and 68 percent of women have never discussed their fantasies with anyone. Only 28 percent of the men and 19 percent of the women have even discussed their erotic thoughts with their spouses.

Our survey shows you still fantasize about sex.

It seems that these thoughts are too intimate to share, even with your life partner. It's curious to ponder how a man or woman could have sex every week for years and years and not share what they are thinking.

Dark Triad and Sexual Fantasies - Narcissism, Psychopathy, Machiavellianism

I think it's wonderful when people in a relationship are close enough and accepting enough to share sexual fantasies. On the other hand, it's certainly not required—and many people love the freedom of having a secret world that is all their own. You don't want to edit your fantasies in order to share them with your partner.

Is there any reason to worry about fantasies? Maybe about one that is common—fantasizing about someone you know or are friends with can create a very real erotic tension when you're talking in person. If you are married or committed to someone else, it's a bit dangerous to keep a physical relationship going with someone else—even if it is only a fantasy.

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But in general, the vast majority of fantasy is just adult play. You are leaving AARP.


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Please return to AARP. The thrill of sex in a public or semi-public place has long been a popular fantasy: dark alleys, public bathrooms, and movie theaters are common choices. The thrill of getting caught is one commonly cited reason, as is a general interest in exhibitionism. A word of warning: Having sex out in the open can be a risky endeavor for both your criminal record and for the wellbeing of passersby, so it might be better left a fantasy.

You can be perfectly happy with your partner and still find something electrically exciting about the idea of cheating on them. It could be the danger of getting caught that draws you in, the freshness of a new sexual connection, or something else entirely. But if you do, maybe some form of ethical non-monogamy is an avenue you should explore. Missionary might do it for some, but for others, pegging is a big turn-on.

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So You Want to Know What Women Fantasize About?

For those who aren't familiar, pegging is where a woman has anal sex with someone using a strap-on, and—for those who are game—it can be a surefire way to flip the script on vanilla sex. Hot tip: It's not for everyone, but if you're intrigued, talk to your S.


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Fifty Shades of Grey normalized this fantasy more widely than ever before; one study found 65 percent of women crave being dominated. While not as socially sanctioned for women as submissiveness, fantasies of being in control in the bedroom are super fun and quite common, with 47 percent of women admitting to having had this fantasy.

Study: Why Older Women Have Higher Sex Drive - TIME

It can be incredibly hot to call the shots during sex, especially in a culture that systematically tries to strip women of our power both in and out of the bedroom. Do your research on this one before acting it out, though. There are a lot of ways bondage can go wrong, in an actually dangerous and not just kinky-dangerous manner. Blindfolds are one easy way to explore this avenue. Wearing one keeps you blissfully unaware of what your partner is about to do to you—and putting one on someone else helps you maintain your control and mystique over them.

Adding noise-cancelling headphones can also be fun if you really want to keep someone on their toes!

10 Women on Their Hottest Sexual Fantasy

Maybe you fantasize about stripping for a partner, performing in a porn flick, or masturbating for an agog audience. Previous research has shown that volunteers in sexually-focused studies tend to be more open than people who refuse to participate in such studies, so that may have biased the results.

Moreover, since the survey was entirely conducted online, the researchers were not able to visually confirm the subjects' age and gender. Source : Joyal, C. Journal of Sexual Medicine. By Ross Pomeroy November 02,